Okay, I'm taking a cake decorating class so that I can be crafty and decorate cakes for Landon's birthday(s). That is all I want to do. I'm certainly not applying for "Ace of Cakes" anytime soon(but, I'm not TOO bad either. I did the cake in the picture tonight. Obviously, Landon's b-day cake will look nothing like this--I was just playin' around). The instructor, Barbara, scares the crap out of me though(Angie can verify this...she's scary people!). She is a total cake nazi and lives, breathes, and dreams all things "cake decorating", I swear. Let's put it this way: she had to get us out of there early tonight as she has a 4 a.m. flight tomorrow to some big national convention that she is VERY excited about. In fact, I've been hearing about this convention since June. To give you a good picture of who she is let me just tell you that she is a heftier woman, has glasses and grey hair, sweats on her upper lip and neck (ICK!), and has a VERY thick Texas accent. You know, the kind you almost need an interpreter for--for example, she says JOOligh which, translated into English, is"July." She also has another hobby--she and her husband dress up like Mr. and Mrs. Claus. It's frightening, really. Trust me--I saw the picture. But, they are dedicated to it. So dedicated, in fact, that he now grows his beard year round. None of that fake white beard stuff for this Santa, his beard is REAL and she told us that he has a hard time going to Walmart because people approach him all the time to tell him "Santa stuff." Hmmm...and I'm pretty sure that his "bowl full of jelly" is from eating his wife's cakes. (Sidenote: Do you know that if you type the word "beard" enough, it can look like a VERY odd word? HMMM. I don't know....maybe it is the night time cold medicine I took but it just doesn't look right) But I digress. I took "Course I" from her in which the ultimate goal was to learn how to make the "Wilton Rose." She is VERY excited about the Wilton Rose and seems to enjoy it as much as anyone POSSIBLY could. And by "enjoy", I mean lives for it and is passionate about it as much as Landon loves Cheerios & animal crackers. I, however, didn't get so excited about the Wilton Rose. In fact, I will go so far as to say that I couldn't give a rat's you know what about learning the Wilton Rose...and unfortunately, I was stupid enough to say that to the Cake Nazi (but in a VERY nice, charming, sweet girl way). She was very upset and told me "Oh, you WILL learn the Wilton Rose." And I tried--I did. However, where there is a will there is a way. So, if there is no will then there is no way, right? She told me that she would work extra with me on this but again, I reiterate...I JUST DIDN'T CARE! I will NEVER make a cake with roses on it. Not happenin'. So, I didn't go in for an extra tutorial. I'm rebellious like that. Now I'm in another course with her and I'll be honest, I get nervous just to go to class. But, I'll report back on my progress by Landon's 1st b-day party. I'm not nervous about the Cake Nazi reading this blog and getting upset because I'm sure that she doesn't spend her time doing anything but practicing "The Wilton Rose."
13 comments:
KJ-What a pretty cake! I have to admit I was LMAO when I read about the "thick Texas accent" and your example. You see, it really hit home for me because just last week Jennifer (Sarah's friend & my sister) was giving me a hard time for the exact same word. JOO'-Ligh' = July. I am no cake nazi though, rest assured, I just have the accent.
Good luck with the cakes - I don't think you need to know the Wilton Rose, that's out of date if you ask me.
I am ROFCMAO!!! That's right!!! CRYING!! My bathrooms in my house are nothing but Wilton Roses you jerk!
And, Janet does have a thick accent, dude. Holy crap.
KJ--I love it that you're taking this class. Rebekah is a graduate!!
I can make the Wilton rose.
Oh Janet, I will have to meet you and assess your accent for myself! Are you going to be one of 'those people' that I have to concentrate when I'm talking to you so that I can be sure to understand you?!
If anyone needs to see my CERTIFICATE, YES CERTIFICATE, from Course I, I'll be happy to show you. It is currently crumpled up in the bottom of a bag that I bring to class. I found it last night and had to laugh because the Cake Nazi made SUCH a big deal about handing them out (if you missed more than one class you 'didn't get your certificate'). Whatever...there is only one place that certificate will end up and it is in the same spot all of my 'practice roses' are.
Rebekah--you braggin' or tellin'? And if you're braggin', when DO you have to have the cake done and decorated for the retirement home?
Rebekah has her certificates framed on her kitchen wall.
I was LMAO as well when I read the part about JOO-Ligh! I think my sister's accent is adorable. She is such a sweet and feisty girl and I couldn't imagine her without her accent but I am so thankful she is not a cake nazi - that would be weird.
The cake in the picture is beautiful. Do you need help eating it? I have to take the kids to a playdate at Chuck-E-Cheese today that, clearly, I did not plan because I can't stand that place (although it is more tolerable now that they have beer again) but we could come over for cake after if you need us to. Hey, I'm here to help with all things cake. And by "all things cake" I pretty much mean just the eating part.
BTW-Rebekah, didn't you recently harass The Cake Nazi's Santa Spouse over at Wal~Mart?
I am wondering if the cake lady (I refuse to say cake nazi because I believe in the importance of the Wilton Rose) is the one I saw at wal-mart. Does she have very short grey hair? Almost a Katie Holmes cut?
OMG!!! Bek! You might have seen her! The hair is shorter than Katie's though...she lives in Park Glen, y'all are probably BFF anyway...KJ's right...the cake nazi is insane when it comes to cake...I'm sassy enough to give her the finger when I'm in class though...ok, I don't actually give her the finger...but I for sure do in my head...did it last night...I'm there to learn...plain and simple...I asked her if I could make a cake iwth a big pretty fondant bow on it for my final project cake...she said, "NO BOWS" in a snarky (thanks Kim) voice...well, well sweetie...that's just fine and dandy but I can assure the cake nazi that ANGIE LINDBLOOM WILL NOT BE DOING ONE OF THOSE LAME ASS CAKES AT THE BACK OF THE BOOK!!!! Yeah, she's insane...seriously! She even dogged on Ace of Cakes...give me a break, that guy freakin' rocks`
Um, yeah, AS IF we needed further confirmation that she is crazy, she dogs on the "Ace of Cakes" people? THEY CAN MAKE CAKES THAT HAVE SPINNING WHEELS and stuff! Clearly that is nothing to mock.
Thanks for the "help with the eating part" Jennifer....that was actually an easy one. I sent the cake with my hubby to work today and he said it disappeared quite quickly. That's usually where my practice cakes end up. Now, in a few weeks when I have to do my dorky "final project cake", that one is up for dibs. Anyone want that?! He he. It'll be a stupid one with some dumb decoration on it that I have to do....but there WILL NOT be a Wilton Rose on it. Sorry Bek.
So I can't figure out what is wrong with pronouncing July as "Joo-Ligh." I have said it over and over trying to figure out how else you would say it. It doesn't help matters that I am in Mississippi right now where not only do they say it the same way I do, most people can manage to add another syllable to it. Please, somebody, tell me how you are supposed to pronounce it!
Oh, my husband has just enlightened me. It is supposed to be "juh-lie"...that is just plain weird, ain't y'all gonna agree?
Oh, and Kim - y'all is spelled like I have it. The apostrophe replaces the 'ou' of 'You.'
Signed,
An English major who apparently can't pronounce the name of the month she was born in, but that's OK because Yankees also tell her that she pronounces her own name "Ginny" or "Jeannie" and not "Jenny."
Oh, that is so funny because a few months ago, I was trying to figure out the name of one of the nursery workers. She was SO sweet to Landon and I wanted to get her a little something. I asked someone and they told me her name was "Ginny" but I thought I heard someone else call her Jennie. I didn't want to be wrong so I asked yet another person...and they told me Ginny. Anyway, I finally had to get them to spell it and it turns out, her name was Jenny. It's kind of like "pen"/"pin" down here....is it just a Texan's goal to confuse a Yankee with all of this?
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